Does Becoming a Father Change Your Life?
Jun 18, 2020We won’t mince our words — becoming a father is one of the biggest changes you can experience in your life. It’s a whole other ball game compared to anything you may have gone through before.
However, while it can significantly impact various parts of your life, becoming a father doesn’t change who you are. In fact, it can bring out the best in you and help you grow into your full potential as a person.
Putting Your New Life in Perspective
Change can be difficult — there’s no denying that. It’s completely natural to feel anxiety about the unknown and to feel worried about stepping out of our comfort zones.
What matters is our perspective and response — in short, whether we choose to see the changes in a positive light. We’ve talked about it before; you have the power of choice in your hands.
For example, imagine your baby crying through the night. You have a choice — you can get all worked-up about enduring another sleepless night, or you could look down at your child’s face and focus on how lucky you are that your baby is there and full of life.
Same scenario, different reactions.
With the right mindset, you can turn a potentially bad change or situation into one that still benefits you. Remember, you hold the reins when it comes to how something affects you and your life. You can choose whether to let it affect you in a positive way or in a negative way.
Raining on Your Parade: The Negative Changes
Let’s not sugarcoat it — there will be a lot of changes where your immediate instinct will be to only see the negative side of things. Common examples are sleepless nights and less intimacy with your wife. That’s totally understandable.
Below are three big changes that triggered our “glass-half-empty” outlook for some time.
You Have Less Personal Time
After work and spending time with your baby, you probably feel like you don’t have any more free time left. Whatever time you do have is most likely spent sleeping or zoning out in front of the TV. This is why time management and scheduling are key when you become a father. If you want more time for yourself, you need to actively schedule it in and manage all the other things on your to-do list well.
You Carry More Responsibilities
Becoming a father means taking on more responsibilities. Diaper changes, feedings, baths, doctor visits — the list goes on and on. These duties are added on top of other heavy responsibilities that you may have as a husband and financial provider. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed with it all and to miss the positive side of things.
You Feel Less in Control
Being a dad can be frustrating and make you feel like you have no control over your own life. Before, you could plan and make decisions more easily and without having to worry much about last-minute changes. Now, as a father, your child’s well-being becomes the main priority.
Even planning ahead and scheduling things might not always work out. If your baby suddenly gets sick, then you’re missing a boy’s night out or cutting it short whether you like it or not.
Seeing the Silver Lining: The Positive Changes
Now that we’ve given some examples of some changes that can bring you down, let’s shift gears and take a look at them from a more positive perspective.
How can having less personal time, more responsibilities, and less control end up benefiting you as a dad and as a person?
You’re Pushed To Become More Patient
More things to juggle, less time to do it, and less control over when to do it means you’re forced to be more patient. It can take more than a few tries to get things just right, but when you learn to be more patient, you’re less likely to stress yourself out — as well as the people around you. Best of all, longer patience also tends to come hand-in-hand with being more understanding and empathetic.
You Feel Love You Never Knew You Had
Parenthood is a life-changing experience that opens up a whole new level of love and emotions. Your heart will grow more than three sizes just to accommodate all the love you have for your child. The love you feel for your child is unlike any other — you want to keep them safe from everything, teach them all they need to know, and see them grow up happy.
You Become Less Selfish
The combination of less time, less control, and more responsibilities also teaches you to become less selfish. Your time isn’t all yours, and your life isn’t just about you anymore.
Becoming a father comes with many sacrifices, and one of the biggest sacrifices is learning to put someone else’s needs above your own. It can be challenging at first, but as you grow into your role as a dad, you’ll find that being selfless brings its own sense of fulfillment. It feels good to be able to do things for your child, even if it might mean more work for you.
You Experience Things Through Their Eyes
Watching your child explore and discover the world is one of the most rewarding aspects of becoming a father. You get to see things through their eyes and experience moments of wonder and joy all over again, like it’s your first time. This helps you also appreciate the little things in life that you may have taken for granted before.
You’re More Responsible
The amount of responsibilities you now shoulder can be overwhelming at times, but it also pushes you to become more responsible and reliable. You become more mature, too. After all, you now have little eyes watching your every move and looking up to you as a role model. Having this sense of purpose and pride in being able to provide for your child is a positive change that can bleed through other aspects of your life.
Fatherhood: Changed for the Better
You’ll experience plenty of life-changing experiences as a father. At the end of the day, it’s up to you whether you allow these life changes to benefit you and enrich your life or to be a source of negativity and frustration.
Becoming a father is a journey filled with both ups and downs, but it’s all worth it. Embrace the changes that come with being a father and let it push you into becoming a better version of yourself!
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